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Making the most of it with chronic illness.

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Kelsey Harris, MA, RCC
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Last week I was a disaster. First cold in over 2.5 years. And because I have glaucoma I can’t deal with colds like healthy people. Not to mention extra aches and pain because of my autoimmune conditions. While i did struggle physically and mentally for a few days, I also noticed that I could get myself to be more resilient in the moments that I really needed it. It was a great reminder that yes things can be hard and really suck, and yet we can find that inner strength and resilience to persevere and live a good life.

This is self-compassion. It’s being kind to ourselves despite our perceived flaws. It’s being kind to ourselves when we need it the most. I used to be so hard on myself for what I didn’t like about myself or wished was different. Being kind to myself actually made it easier for me. For me to forgive myself when necessary. For me to learn and grow. For me to be resilient with chronic illness. For me to live my best life. And I still find myself using kind touch and words, more instinctively now, and it allows me to take that moment that I need so that I can move forward.

I remember when my physical pain was so much worse. Back before I went to therapy or implemented any of the other number of lifestyle changes I did. And I did think about my pain a lot and in a very negative way. And I was anxious and depressed about my pain and illness. Interestingly, once I stated to approach my pain and illness in a much more curious, nonjudgmental way… once I processed my thoughts and feelings in therapy… once I changed my behaviours… those painful sensations became much less. To the point that even when they bother me, they don’t upset me. So much wisdom from Jon Kabat-Zinn.

Two weeks ago I attended a compassion in therapy summit. I use a lot of self-compassion work in my practice because so many people lack it. I did too and it was an incredibly helpful skill my therapist helped me with a few years ago. I continue self-compassion consistently so that I have inner space to give more to my clients (and help myself when I have pain).

The idea of accommodating to, or making room for pain, be it physical or emotional, is counterintuitive for most of us. And yet, I’ve found it’s been the most effective way for me to live my life.

I have gone through periods in my life of repressing emotions, expressing them in not the best ways, and currently expressing them in helpful ways. When I’ve repressed them, it’s because it was the natural thing to do to survive, but it made things worse inside of me. When I’ve exploded with emotions, all it did was push people away. But it was a lot of work to get to where I am now. Where I can feel my emotions, totally willingly, and yet not get swept away by them.

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Happy International Women’s Day

Shout out to all the women of the world! And to all my female chronic pain warriors, my Janes versus pains! Have an awesome day!

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Posted on March 8, 2018Author truetalesoflifeandlupus

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