Setting Work Boundaries

When it comes to work, a lot of people have difficulties setting boundaries. For those of us with a chronic illness, it becomes a difficult but necessary part of literally being able to work. Why am I bringing this up today? I have been off of work for the past week because of my hip tear, which seemingly go worse when I (a) accidentally leaned against it at work, and (b) my hip popped out of and back into place when I was doing an elevated pushup. Now I’m set to go back tomorrow but I will probably need some accommodations, because, despite the fact that I felt worse on Monday and now better today, I do a lot to mitigate the pain. The other part of this equation is that work has been so stressful since we fully reopened (limited customers) at the end of May, and I haven’t been able to set boundaries around that, I’ve become more anxious and had a general increase in body pain anyway. Now’s the time to make a change.

Even on the beach I had to change positions a million times.

So how do you set work boundaries? I mean, no boss or company wants to have to accommodate for an employee, right? Yet as much as I hate asking, I have seen some managers do it for others, and have had some managers do it for me. Plus, legally in Canada and some other countries, employers can’t discriminate because of (dis)ability. In the past I’ve always approached it with a very direct attitude. This is what I need, this is why I need it, and without it I can’t do my job properly. Direct works best. And when in doubt I have a doctor’s note as well (I currently have a few doctor’s notes in my file with no “expiry” date to them). Plus, I always tell my bosses that I will be flexible when needed (and I have been) because I understand the importance of the business (I work in electronics retail so it’s importance really depends on your own value to it).

Image from: https://www.flickr.com/photos/moodlegal/32946222992/

What’s the difference now? Covid-19. As I’ve mentioned, we aren’t through it yet. At my work, we still have 18 staff members not back yet, we let limited customers in the store which is still too many at a time at times, and things are definitely not running as “normal.” What I currently need because of my hip: to be able to change physical positions as needed – sitting, sitting with my legs up, standing, walking, lying down. What I need because of stress: to not be the only person scheduled at customer service where I get long lines and yelled at by customers all day. Here’s the thing, I am scheduled alone at customer service for the next 3 days. The only other person scheduled for my entire department is collecting web orders, so literally nothing to do with directly dealing with customers. Therefore, I can’t just leave my post to change what position I’m in. I will stand for 9 hours with just my 30 minute break. Bad for hip and bad for stress. Do I need to say something? Yes. How will it go? I guess we’ll find out.

Being in nature is helpful for stress. Take a time out every know and then in order to heal.

I’m curious if any of my fellow Spoonies have been back to a work environment yet and what they are doing for boundary setting. This is a time where I wish I could work from home, but wishing isn’t going to make that happen at the moment. Please comment or DM me on Instagram and share your work boundary stories. Stay Safe.

5-minute Unguided Meditation with Intro & Outro

We’ve been doing some short guided meditations and mindfulness exercises together. Today I lead you off and take you out of an unguided meditation. Remember, having thoughts is okay. Just acknowledge them and let them go throughout this 5-minute exercise. It’s called mindfulness practice, because that’s what we do – practice. Starting with short exercises like these can help you make mindfulness a more regular part of your life.

 

By the way, all the video used in these practices is shot by me. This is the Niagara River as seen from the Niagara Glen Trail in Ontario, Canada.

How’s Your Pain Today?

I always have a million topic ideas in my head (well technically I write them down on Stickies because I don’t want to forget them) but I often end up going with something currently relevant to me because, well, it just makes more sense to. As I’ve mentioned before, in addition to fibromyalgia (and maybe lupus) I also have a tear of the anterior labrum (hip) – I’ll throw in a picture of what that looks like). This tear is brutal. Initially my rheumatologist told me that it could be taken care of with physio and if that doesn’t work, then surgery. She asked me if I’d like a referral to the surgeon, to which I said yes. This was March 2020. About a week before Covid-19 really went for it and we started shutting everything down, including “elective” surgeries (because is a surgery that will take away pain really elective?).

Image from: https://eorthopod.com/labral-tears-of-the-hip/

Anyway, the pain has normally been around a 7 in my hip. I’ve been doing physio (virtual) since the end of March and while my physiotherapist is amazing (check out my podcast), it also doesn’t really seem to be helping with this particular problem. Fast forward to last week Thursday when I leaned against a counter at work while I was talking to my boss… and I happened to learn right against the tear. Talk about excruciating pain running down my entire leg – hip to ankle! But I sucked it up and stayed at work and powered through. The pain now around an 8.

Even with pain at an 8 I can still enjoy the great outdoors (Niagara on the Lake, Ontario)

Fast forward to Monday, when I’m doing my normal hardcore workout. It’s an upper body one, so I’m not too concerned because my hip is normally fine on these workouts (sometimes I have to adjust lower body and full body workouts to accommodate my hip). Well, as I moved to get out a position, I heard and felt a “pop.” This seemed like my hip popped in and out of place (though upon some research I read that’s not really a thing that happens, so I’m not sure what exactly happened). Now the pain is a 9. I went to work Monday and Tuesday, and then got a doctor’s note for a week off from today (Wednesday) through next Wednesday.

Spike is a good nurse.

So how can I still smile and laugh through all of this? First of all, that’s not always easy. I have to frequently change my position (standing, sitting, walking, lying) in order to feel comfortable because I can’t really be in any of them for too long. At the end of the day though, I can sit and feel sorry for myself (or be hard on myself because technically it’s my own fault it got worse) or I can (a) be productive and constantly call the hospital to see if they can do this type of surgery now, and (b) realize that pain, even chronic pain, is a temporary sensation. I can do meditations that focus on physical pain (which I did this morning), I can write a blog post, I can rest, and I can still have a life with this, because the other option is to not and I refuse to do that.

Upo reserch, this is the type of surgery that needs to be done. Image from: https://orthoinfo.aaos.org/en/diseases–conditions/slap-tears/

How are you all feeling about your pain today?

Also, if you haven’t yet checked out my podcast – Chronically Living and how to make the most of it (Apple Podcasts and Spotify), the latest episode is on Pelvic Health. I would really appreciate some reviews and ratings for it (plus I have a little promotion going for that – see my Instagram @janeversuspain for more details).

How to Wear a Mask: A Short PSA

There are so many immune-compromised people out there, and many of you watching this may fall into this category. While I take anti-malarials and not immunosuppressants, so I’m not at greater risk for Covid-19, I think we need to keep passing these messages around. Many (mostly older) people don’t seem to understand how to wear a face mask properly. I don’t think this is necessarily intentional, and I think we really need to pass this information around. We’re not out of this pandemic yet and it could be awhile before a vaccine is on the market. Stay Safe Warriors!

Positive Psychology and Physical Illness

Before everyone starts hating on positive psychology, I’m going to give you a bit of a break down of it. As some of you know, I’m doing my Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology so I’m learning a lot about the different theories of counselling. Though I want to take an integrative approach in my practice, positive psychology is something that interests me. Here’s why:

• the focus is on strengths, positive experiences, positive emotions (i.e., what’s good in life, not just what’s bad)
• optimism and gratitude are encouraged (however, if you’re not an optimist then you shouldn’t be coerced into being one)
• unrealistic optimism isn’t healthy, and neither is too much pessimism
• emphasis on finding meaning in life and being authentic as it will lead to less stress and anxiety
• there needs to be balance between positive and negative feelings and experiences
• you can learn to shift your perspective from negativity to positivity
• focus is finding ways to foster hope in your life

Image from: https://condorperformance.com/positive-psychology/

So what does this have to do with physical illness. Well, if it isn’t obvious already, positive psychology can help us shift our view of our illness(es) from being something that is terrible and completely disruptive of our lives, to something that we can draw strength and resilience from. Regardless of whether we are sick or healthy, we all have strengths (I would say mine are perseverance, optimism, and communication). We all still experience good things (fun times with friends and family for example), and positive emotions (unless you’re truly unhappy 100% of the time, you do experience happiness, love, contentment, etc.). This doesn’t mean we can’t have bad days or be unhappy, it means that we can choose to acknowledge the good days and the good things that happen as well.

Engaging in self-care kind of goes hand-in-hand with positive psychology.

I like the idea of meaning making (if you read my post on existentialism you’ll know this about me). So my original goal was to make movies and entertain. As my health deteriorated, I sought out new meaning and found that I want to help and inspire people (thus this blog, my podcast, and my new degree). The other part of this is finding ways to foster hope. I think that for people who are very sick, finding hope is difficult. I volunteer at a crisis text line for kids and teens. One of the articles I often send texters is on fostering hope. Here are some suggestions from the article: positive thinking, focusing on the future (and changes that will happen), look at the big picture rather than the details that are easy to focus on, remember your successes (however small – did you go for a walk around the block today? that’s a success), be patient with yourself because you’re doing the best you can, and reach out for support when necessary.

Pursuing more education was an important step in finding my new life meanings.

Is positive psychology the only way to improve your mental health when you have a physical illness? Certainly not, but hopefully this was some food for thought.

Also, in case you haven’t heard, I have a podcast! It’s call Chronically Living and how to make the most of it. It’s available on Apple Podcasts! Check it out and please leave me a rating and review!

Reference:

https://kidshelpphone.ca/get-info/8-ways-foster-hope-your-daily-life

Exercise Tip of the Week: Kayaking!

While on the one hand I can’t continue to emphasize enough how important exercise is for pain management, I also recognize that finding alternative, light exercises is a real need for many of us. I love kayaking because it provides this option. Also, apparently the size of your paddle changes what kind of workout you get. Shorter paddles are better for core muscles and longer are better for upper body! Regardless, I always take opportunities to just float for awhile. Gotta give the body some rest time while being outside!

I hope to get out at least 1-2 more times this summer. What’s your favourite alternative exercise option when it comes to chronic pain or illness?

Convos and Massages

I can never express enough how beneficial I find getting a massage. For someone who has all over body pain, spending 45, 60 or in today’s case, 90 minutes having a RMT deep tissues massage you can completely change how your body feels. Normally, I have a massage very 2 months, for 45 minutes to an hour. Because of Covid, I haven’t had a massage since February. I also normally feel good but sore after a massage. Today I just feel amazing. My body needed it, and needed it more than I could imagine. Luckily, I have insurance that covers it. If I didn’t, I know I would find a way to work it into my budget. Finding an amazing RMT is also something I can’t emphasize enough. I told mine about my hip tear, explained what type of tear it was and how it was giving me referred pain in my leg. She not only worked the hip and the thigh, but made them feel so much better. I know it’s a bandaid of sorts but sometimes that is enough to get you through, when you have chronic pain (or rather I should say ME because I can’t speak for everyone).

Image from: https://www.wellness-within.ca/massage-st-albert

I also always have interesting conversations with my RMT. I know some people like to go and just chill and relax and not talk at all during their services. I get that, and I’ve been like that. I do strongly believe in relaxation and relaxation techniques. However, my RMT is hilarious, engaging, and a great conversationalist. So, I know that when I go for a massage, we will talk the whole time and it will be about very diverse topics. We covered a lot in our 90 minutes today. From systemic racism in the police force and amongst white people in general, to anti-maskers, to Hamilton as seen on Disney+, to the Netflix documentary disclosure and how trans actors should be cast in trans roles. (There were a lot of other subjects by the way, but I feel like this gives you a general picture).

Image from: https://rogersmovienation.com/2020/06/25/documentary-review-disclosure-charts-the-evolution-of-trans-representation-on-film-and-tv/

What I’ve found is that because she’s intelligent and does research, we have these amazing intellectual conversations that are good for both of our minds. I’ve been talking a lot of about self-care in school. I’m taking a group counselling course in my master’s program. Last week, a partner and I ran a group on self-care for a few of our classmates, and this week one of the group’s I’m participating in is on self-care. One of the aspects of self-care that can easily be overlooked is the psychological. We need to engage our minds, whether through reading or good conversation, in things that we don’t normally engage in. It helps with our overall well-being. Reading, writing, watching a documentary, going to therapy, or having these types of conversations can fuel your mind, taking care of it. So, we can say that today I have already done some physical and mental/psychological self-care and it’s only 1pm.

Image from: https://bccampus.ca/2020/06/18/why-self-care-isnt-selfish-caring-for-yourself-during-covid-19/

If you’re looking at increasing your self-care, look at these different areas:

Physical – healthy eating, taking your medications and going to appointments, exercise, massages, physical intimacy with your partner.
Psychological – listed in the previous paragraph!
Emotional – hobbies, pets, social activism, volunteering, being in tune with your emotions
Spiritual – mediation, yoga, forgiveness, church, being in nature.
Personal – setting goals, family time, reading, learning something new, spending time with friends
Professional – not taking work home with you, taking appropriate breaks, taking mental health days, taking vacation time, setting boundaries

Reference:
https://crmhs.org/mental-health-self-care-2/

Meditation Sundays: Visualization

As you know, I’m a big fan of mindfulness practices because they can help with everything from chronic pain to decreasing anxiety. Visualizations are a great way to practice mindfulness in a focused way. Today’s visualization is meant to be calming, however, visualizations can be done for other reasons as well. I’ve personally practiced them for chronic pain. It was a “how do you visualize your hand pain?” type of scenario. To which my response was a zombie hand. As those visualizations can be a lot more intense, I thought we’d start off a lot easier today.

If you love mindfulness or have some great meditations that you like to do, don’t forget to comment!

Fighting off Depression for Chronic Illness and Non-Chronic Illness Warriors

I want to talk a bit about mental health today. A lot of people with chronic illness deal with depression and anxiety. During this Covid-19 post-lockdown period, a number of previously mentally healthy people have been also dealing with feelings of anxiety and depression because of their time in isolation and the different experiences this may have brought for them. While there are many different reasons for people to become depressed, there are some proven ways to combat it. The way I’d like to talk about today is behavioral activation.

Image from: https://www.psychologytools.com/self-help/behavioral-activation/

As I’ve mentioned before, I am currently doing my a Master’s degree in Counselling Psychology. Last month I took a course on Cognitive Behavioral interventions. Though I am not planning on specializing in CBT, I do find that a lot of the empirically supported interventions are worth integrating into my future practice. Anyway, I’ll digress. What is behavioral activation? BA is an intervention that suggests that doing something you enjoy and/or are masterful at and/or provides social interaction, will decrease your depressive symptoms and ultimately make you feel happy. Before you start to laugh, as I have mentioned, there is a lot of evidence (which I’ll link below) that supports this treatment for depression, including severe depression. If you find you’re feeling more depressed at a certain time of day, that is when you should schedule activities for. Remember, they need to be something you enjoy (or previously enjoyed before depression) or something you’re good at. So, for example, if from 3-5pm every day you feel really depressed, but you like to be outside and walk, then that’s the time you should do it.

Image from: https://www.psychologytools.com/self-help/behavioral-activation/

Here’s something I noticed during lockdown. Most of the people I know who sat at home and did nothing – just watched Netflix all day or played video games – felt depressed. I volunteer at a crisis text line and a lot of the texters felt the same way by just doing those things – movies and video games. Now, I have nothing against movies and video games and they can be things you enjoy, but not necessarily when it’s all you do all day every day. Those of us who kept busy (I studied, exercised, meditated, did my 30-day self-care challenge, walked, learned a new language, etc, etc.) did not feel depressed. Kind of interesting isn’t it?

Lockdown era city hike.

My suggestion is that if you’re feeling depressed, try to start scheduling some activities for yourself, or now that lockdown is winding down, start to see some of your friends again. If you’re severely depressed, I do suggest finding a therapist to help you as well, but don’t be surprised if one of the things they suggest is behavioral activation! Of course, for anyone with a chronic illness, we may not be able to do ALL of the things we could before, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t things you enjoy or are good at. Take a look at what you can do and go from there.

Happy Canada Day to my fellow Canadians!
Image from: https://www.albertaprimetimes.com/the-bright-side/canada-day-2020-20-facts-and-figures-to-celebrate-the-big-day-2527866

Here are some articles surrounding the efficacy of it.

https://www.verywellmind.com/increasing-the-effectiveness-of-behavioral-activation-2797597

https://positivepsychology.com/behavioural-activation-therapy-treating-depression/

https://www.redalyc.org/pdf/172/17220620045.pdf

https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/ba12/5cb76b3baa12cc272d9c9bb95e3297eeee83.pdf