How to Set a (Spoonie) Goal This New Year

It’s ALMOST 2023! I can’t believe it because it feels like the last 3 years took a hundred years and yet also flew by. So weird. Anyway, everyone jumps on the goal setting band wagon in the new year and this post isn’t exactly that. I usually do a post of this sort in January for two reasons (1) many of you may be looking for help with goal setting, and (2) it gives me a chance to talk about values vs. goals (guess what I think is more important and beneficial in the long run?). I have nothing against goal setting. We need to do it to accomplish things in our lives. So let’s just jump into how to set a goal – for everyone really – but especially if you have chronic pain or illness.

One of my new year goals is to increase my hiking ability.

SPECIFIC
What is it exactly that you want to accomplish this year (or day, week, month, etc.). Be as detailed as possible. I’ll use my hiking goal as an example (it’s really ambitious goal for a spoonie but I have incredible support team – my physiotherapist, other healthcare practitioners, and my very avid-hiking partner). Specifically I want to be able to do a hike that is 40+ km and/or 2000m in elevation. Currently I can do about 8km and 800m elevation. Being a specific as possible helps us know what we’re going after.

Meaningful
Why is this goal important to you? What values does it connect with? Values are qualities of action, or how we treat ourselves, others and the world. If the goal isn’t important to you and doesn’t align with your values it’s unlikely you’ll hit it (and if you do you are very good at finding motivation elsewhere because often our motivation comes from our values). Using my hiking goal, this is important to me because it aligns with my values of adventure, health and fitness, and connection (with my partner). I suggest writing down your values when you set your goal.

Adaptive
Your goal needs to improve your life in some way. Again, this is useful for motivation. Why do something if it doesn’t help you? Think about ways your goal will make your life better. Hiking will make my life better because I will feel physically healthier, and I’ll get to have new experiences. Write down how your goal will improve your life.

Realistic
When goals aren’t realistic we don’t hit them. Often, especially in the new year, we make goals that are waaaay off what is actually possible for us. We want to cut out all sugar immediately or run that 5k tomorrow or double our income in 2 months. This causes us to get frustrated and give up. Is my goal realistic? Well, I planned it out with my physiotherapist, based on my current ability, how my body is currently doing, and by breaking it down into smaller chunks so that I gradually increase distance and elevation each month. This all said, as a Spoonie, I know that I may have to adapt or change the plan in the event that my health suddenly isn’t doing as well (and due to weather, like what happened in November and December in BC). Basically you want to be 7/10 minimum in confidence that you’ll hit your goal. Are you?

Time-Bound
Knowing when we will hit our goal, the exact time frame, helps us to reach it. Is this a goal for the end of the week? Month? 6 months? Year? Can you break it down into smaller chunks if it’s one of the longer ones? Can you make it time-bound within the day or week (ex., yoga 3x week on days X, Y, Z for X minutes)? As I mentioned I have broken down my goal by month so that each month I have to hit X distance and X elevation, with a slight increase each month until I hit my goal by the end of the summer. What are your time-frames?

So, all written out your goal will look something like:
I will hike 40+ km and/or 2000m elevation by the end of August, 2023 by gradually increasing my distance and elevation each month, hiking weekly or biweekly depending on the weather. The goal is important to me because I will be engaging in adventure, healthy living, and connection with my partner. It will improve my life by increasing my overall fitness and letting me experience new things.

What does your goal look like? Feel free to share! And keep making the most of it!

Video: Holidays & Spoonies

Just a little message of hope this holiday season so that we can all keep making the most of it!

The crisis line in Canada is: 1-866-585-0445

The text line in Canada for adults: text WELLNESS to 741741

The text line in Canada for youth: text WELLNESS to 686868

How to Navigate Christmas (or whatever you celebrate) with Chronic Pain

The holiday season is a stressful time for most people. It’s often financially draining. Physically draining when trying to attend all of the events. And for many people it can be a lonely time or a triggering time or a time when there is more sadness or anxiety than the rest of the year. When I lived in Toronto from 2015-2020, I spent 1 Christmas with just my partner at the time (and my dog), followed by 2 Christmases with just my dog, followed by 2 Christmases with a friend and his family, and then finally a Christmas with my parents. Last year I was with my brother and his wife and stepkids (and my SIL’s brother and his family). This year I get to spend it with my parents, other brother and his wife (and 2 dogs). I know what it’s like to have a lonely Christmas. I also know what it’s like to have a busy Christmas. I spent many years (including with chronic pain) working in retail and working 45+ hour weeks throughout December, doing a lot of standing and running around. This year I’ve gone to so many holiday events already that even though I feel a lot better physically (and emotionally) than I have in the past, I still notice a bit more pain than I had. How do we navigate all of this?

I’ve had many different types of Christmases over the years (2018)

Emotions: Loneliness, Sadness, Anxiety & Stress
First, I think that recognizing what you’re feeling is important. I’m a big believer in not trying to repress emotions (while also not getting swept away by them). Making some room for this experience is actually okay. You’re not alone in any of these feelings and remembering that is so important. Giving yourself a lot of compassion can help a lot. Also trying to connect with others as much as possible – even if its short durations, or online instead of in-person can help ease a lot of these feelings. If you can muster up a gratitude practice, I find it can be helpful. Of course, reach out to local helplines for support if you’re in crisis. Maybe try this self-compassion/Christmas gratitude practice I released last year.

Pain and Other Symptoms
Noticing your triggers for pain – as I’m sure many of you are aware – is important. There’s no point pushing yourself to the point of exhaustion. Taking breaks and pacing is extremely important, even if you’re “in charge” of buying presents or cooking meals (actually this is when it’s most important). Think about who you can share some of these responsibilities with and ask for help (making room for uncomfortable feelings that may come with it). Try not to schedule too much for yourself in one day and keep all the days with as equal amount of activity as possible. I know that the amount of events I’m attending is actually winding down over Christmas and all of the cooking is shared between myself, my parents, and my brother and SIL. My New Years’ plans are pretty chill – my partner and I are just going to a brewery (just us). Maybe try some relaxation practices throughout the holidays when you’re taking breaks. Something like yoga nidra.

All in all, just doing what is within your control to make this a good holiday and allowing what is not in your control to just be there, without it overtaking you. I know from experience that this is easier said than done. Just keep on making the most of it everyone!

Video: Cooking with Kels – GF Butterscotch PB Marshmallow “Squares”

I love holiday baking. These treats are something that I grew up on and it’s great to know I can indulge as an adult with an AI disease and a modified diet. You can make these vegan as well by replacing the marshmallows and butter with vegan alternatives.

Recipe:
1/4 cup butter 3/4 cup peanut butter Melt in pot over low heat. Remove from heat once melted. 1 bag of butterscotch chippits Stir into butter/PB mixture until melted. 1 bag of mini marshmallows (coloured or white) Pour into large bowl and pour liquid mixtures over top. Stir until well mixed. Cool in fridge until hard.

Hope you enjoy! And keep making the most of it!

How Can Magnesium Help My Physical and Emotional Pain?

It’s not a secret that I like natural methods for helping physical and mental health. I’m not against medication – I take it for my AI disease and additional for pain as needed, and I often encourage clients to take it for their mental health issues if needed – I just prefer a combination of Western medicine and natural healing. People see me as a clinical counsellor because they want coping skills for their mental health. Coping skills are a natural way to heal. Sometimes supplements can also be very helpful, especially ones that tend to help both physical and mental health. So this week I thought we could talk about the benefits of magnesium (something I take) for our holistic health. Did you know that approximately 50% of Americans (likely Canadians too) don’t consume enough magnesium (Centre Spring MD). “Enough” magnesium would be between 300-420mg per day and up to 600mg per day.

Image from: https://health.clevelandclinic.org/foods-that-are-high-in-magnesium/

Mental Health & Magnesium
Magnesium is something I typically take around my period. I tend to get bad cramps and it helps to relieve them (particularly the type of magnesium I take) and I’ve also noticed a lot less PMS-type symptoms since doing this. While the research doesn’t mention PMS, it does talk about depression and anxiety. According to research by Botturi, et al. (2020) magnesium has been shown to reduce depressive symptoms and even reduce the risk of developing a depressive disorder, if taken orally. Low magnesium levels can also be a cause of anxiety (or worsen anxiety) and cause difficulty with sleep (which often overlaps with anxiety and depression) (Ferguson, 2020, Healthline). It seems magnesium plays at least a partial role in the onset and/or maintenance of anxiety and depression (in some people at least).

Physical Health & Magnesium
As I mentioned magnesium has helped me with pain. The type I take (glycinate) is a muscle relaxant. In general people with low magnesium have been shown to have more muscle pain then those with sufficient amounts (Ferguson, 2020). There is also research to support that magnesium plays a role in the “prevention of central sensitization and in the attenuation of established pain hypersensitivity” (Na, Ryu & Do, 2011). Many of us with chronic pain are (or become) hypersensitive to pain. This seems to suggest that increasing our magnesium intake can help with the reduction of pain. These researchers also looked at certain types of pain such as perioperative pain, neuropathic pain, dysmenorrhea, tension headaches, and acute migraines and found that increasing magnesium helped with these.

How Can We Get More Magnesium?
I was listening to a podcast that suggested even using lotions infused with magnesium is helpful. However, most of the research seems to say that we need it orally – either as a supplement or as part of our diet. Some ideas of foods to eat include leafy greens (i.e, spinach and kale), avocado, dark chocolate, legumes, whole grains, nuts and seeds. Personally there are lot of things on that list that I eat regularly and enjoy consuming. If you don’t like those foods (which have a lot of other health benefits that I’ve blogged about before) there is always the supplement route!

Do you take magnesium? Have you noticed a difference with your physical or mental health? I’d love to hear your thoughts. And everyone, keep making the most of it!

Sources:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK507245/
https://centrespringmd.com/the-benefits-of-magnesium-for-mood-mental-health/
https://www.healthline.com/health/magnesium-anxiety
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7352515/#:~:text=Some%20epidemiological%20or%20observational%20studies,symptoms%20%5B50%2C51%5D.

Video: Daily Mindfulness – Clouds in the Sky

This practice can help us create distance between ourselves and any unhelpful thoughts we have about our pain and illness. Unhelpful can include just dwelling on the fact that these occur for us (that often contribute to anxiety and depression).

Hope this helps you to keep making the most of it!

How to Engage in Micro Self-Care

Last week I wrote about macro self-care – doing something “big” for yourself as a way to recharge. These things are important, but also a little harder to do, especially for Spoonies/Warriors. The other side of macro self-care is micro self-care. These are little moments you can spread throughout your day in order to get that oh-so-important self-care in. Micro self-care can take as little as a few seconds, up to several minutes. Not only is micro self-care easier (and less expensive) to engage in, it can be done on various energy levels (so important for anyone with chronic pain and illness, as you all know) and it has more benefits than macro because of the frequency of it.

Spending even 5 minutes outside is a great self-care practice.

If you Google “micro self-care” you will literally see hundreds of different ideas for what you can do. Here are a few of my favourites:

1. Meditation or deep breathing (or grounding, and so on). You don’t need to sit and meditation for 20+ minutes. In fact to start it’s actually better to just do 3-5 minutes. And it’s something you can find time to do at any point in your day.
2. Gratitude Practice – say out loud or write down 3-5 things you’re grateful for (it’s been shown to boost happiness)
3. Journal – you don’t have to write down every thought or everything that’s happened. When I journal I often reflect on something specific (i.e., use a prompt) or look at my physical, intellectual, spiritual and/or emotional bodies and see if there’s anything to reflect on, limiting beliefs I can forgive myself for and/or something I’d like to work on today.
4. Stretch – stretching is something most of us can do more of as it’s really good for our bodies. Take a few minutes to do a few stretches is a great way to care for your body.
5. Do some sort of quick exercise – walk around the block (my favourite) or even just marching in place or do 5 minutes of some sort of strengths-based chair workout.
6. Read – set a timer for 5 minutes and read (or just read a poem, or a set a page goal for a book – 5-10 pages for example).
7. Go outside – even if it’s chilly out, spending a few minutes just being out in the fresh air is great for our bodies and minds.
8. Drinks a glass of water or tea – we often under hydrate so water is always the best option. Alternatively I always feel good drinking some of my favourite tea.
9. Make your bed – this seems silly and simple and yet I (who often doesn’t make my bed) feel so good when I make it (and also feel better when I get into a made bed at night… actually I’m going to make my bed now).
10. Make plans with a friend – this doesn’t mean you actually have to go out with this friend at this moment but even just making the plans via text or phone call can make us feel good and give us something to look forward to.

These are just some ideas to get you started with micro self-care. There are many more that I do. Some of these daily, many of these within a day, and some of these less often. I know that the more I do, the better I feel (mentally and physically). What are your favourite micro self-care practices?

Keep making the most of it everyone!

Video: Values-Based Activities – Why Try Yoga?

Yoga has a lot of different benefits for chronic pain and chronic illness and can be worth trying out. If you’re hesitant, I totally get it, I was for the longest time as well.

Keep making the most of it!