Why You Should Be Curious & Nonjudgmental About Your Illness

Curiosity and nonjudgmental awareness are important tools for healing when you have a chronic illness. I’m not saying, cure the illness, but rather to increase our pain tolerance, decrease our stress levels, and heal from any associated wounds from our illness. This becomes even more important if you have a trauma background, which as we know from all the research on the subject, is very common when you have a chronic illness. Myself included in that statement, “little t” trauma that lasted for 5 years in elementary and junior high, something I initially scoffed at as possibly being considered trauma until I learned more about what trauma is, and how it has contributed to my current health. I didn’t process any of it until I was an adult, seeking psychotherapy for pain and stress, and it eventually came out because I was having difficulties in adult friendships… all stemming back to the “little t” trauma from my childhood (let me know if you want more information on little t and big t trauma, I’ve written about them before but can again).

What should we be curious and nonjudgmental about?

I mean a part of me just wants to say EVERYTHING! Because there are definitely huge advantages to approaching life this way. However, it is completely unrealistic to think we could experience life this way all the time. We’re human and it’s totally normal to make judgments (evolutionarily, it helped our species stay alive!) When it comes to chronic illness there are 4 things I think are really important to be curious and nonjudgmental about (this is, as always, based on my own lived experience as well as what I’ve seen in clinical practice).

1. Our Thoughts – even the ones that are “judging” in the first place. Can you notice your thoughts without thinking about them or getting swept away by them? I find it interesting to see not only the content of my thoughts but also how they come and go, with some being more sticky than others.
2. Our Emotions – like our thoughts, they tend to come and go, but typically can stick around for longer periods of time. Not only should we explore what we are feeling, but where we are feeling it in our bodies. All emotions have related sensations. What can we notice about them by just sticking to the facts?
3. Our Behaviours – why do we do the things we do? It’s fascinating to notice how I act in certain ways or do certain things and how that changes with time or on a different day. It’s equally as fascinating to observe how my behaviours change when my thoughts and feelings are in different states.
4. Our Sensations – not only the ones associated with our emotions, but all the sensations in our bodies – hunger, fatigue, pain. Noticing the quality, where it is, what it feels like, even what we imagine it looks like.

How can we become more curious and nonjudgmental?

There are a lot of ways we can learn to become curious and nonjudgmental. I think of myself as being a curious child, discovering something new for the first time, and approaching whatever it is – thought, emotion, behaviour or sensation – just in that way. But I’ll be more specific:

• Describe it – using only facts, not your interpretations or judgments. Here is anxiety. Here is a sharp sensation in my leg. Here is a worry thought.
• Notice and Name it – I am noticing the thought that… or I’m noticing the feeling of…
• Send your breath into it – rather than judge the sensation or emotion as good or bad, see if you can just pause and send your breath to the area of you feel it the most, giving it some room.
• Practice meditation – in meditation all you’re really doing is noticing your experience as it comes and goes. This can be a good way to learn to interact with your thoughts, feelings and behaviours nonjudgmentally because the whole point is to be open and nonjudgmental. Check this one out.
• Do a body scan – this is another way to really be open to any feelings and sensations present in your body. We often notice that the intensities change and that sensations do often come and go. Find a short version here.
• Offer yourself some kindness – it’s so easy to be harsh and judgmental about your experience. Kind self-talk or kind self-touch can be useful to counteract what our minds are doing. Check out this kind hand exercise.

It can be hard to think that things can get better, but I’ve had the first-hand experience of my life improving from doing these kinds of practices and really just changing my experience of life. I hope this helps you to keep making the most of it!

Effective Ways to Challenge Chronicity Thoughts

How much time do you spend thinking about your pain or illness? Does it consume most of your day? Just a little bit? I remember the time when I was spending a lot of time thinking about being in pain, and wondering “why me” or what my life would be like going forward etc. These are often referred to as chronicity thoughts. Happily, this was the past for me and is not my experience anymore. I know that many of you may be having this as your current experience though, so I wanted to take sometime to talk about it.

As human beings, we spend a lot of time thinking.

First of all, I want to say that this is a totally normal experience for anyone with chronic pain or a chronic illness. Our minds are literally trying to help us (or they think they are trying to help us, which is what they evolved to do). The problem is, this kind of constant thinking about pain makes our lives worse, not better. There are three types of common chronicity thoughts: (1) ruminating about being in pain/sick – I keep thinking about it, it’s all I can think about because it hurts; (2) magnifying our pain/illness – it will get worse, something terrible is going to happen; and (3) thoughts of helplessness – nothing I do makes it better, nothing I can do will ever make it better.

Are your thoughts making your life better, worse, or the same?

If you went to a doctor (Western or functional) or a therapist, they’d likely assess this with a tool called The Pain Catastrophizing Scale (PCS). My commentary is that I don’t like the name because “catastrophizing” sometimes has the connotation that it’s all in your head, but that’s not what it means in this case – it’s really referring to chronicity thoughts. The questions on the scale include:

• I worry all the time about whether the pain will end
• I feel I can’t go on
• It’s terrible and I never think it’s going to get any better.
• I wonder whether something serious will happen.
• and so (there are 13 questions total, and you self-report on a scale of 0-4 for each question, with 0 meaning not at all and 4 meaning all the time.)

Image from: https://www.endonews.com/pain-catastrophizing-perceived-injustice-and-pain-intensity-impair-life-satisfaction

So what can we do about all these chronicity thoughts? First, I will always suggest that working with a therapist is the way to go. Remember this blog is educational and not mental health/medical advice. We all have unique situations and unique thoughts, so having someone you can work with one-on-one (or in a small group) is always the way to go. I will let you know about a few different approaches. First, let’s talk about classic Cognitive Behavioural Therapy approach, where we challenge thoughts.

• Notice and name the thought: I’m having the thought that “It’s terrible and I never think it’s going to get any better.”
• Review evidence for and against the thought: For might include things like, it occurs frequently, has high intensity, a doctor’s prognosis, etc. Against might be things like, there are times of day when I don’t notice it or it’s less intense or my doctor said with this medication or these lifestyle changes it will improve
• Replace the thought with a more accurate one: This doesn’t mean being optimistic or denying anything that’s true. Instead it’s incorporating the evidence against the thought (not just for the thought which is what we tend to do). So a different thought might be: “It’s really unpleasant right now, but it might not always be this bad/constant.” (You choose a thought that works for you, this is just what might work for me.)

Image from: https://medium.com/spark-live/advantages-of-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-cbt-88bff0ab98d3

As a therapist, I am well-trained in CBT but I prefer to use Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) on myself and with clients, especially those with chronic pain/illness. There is no step-by-step way to challenge thoughts in ACT because we don’t challenge them, but here’s now I might work with them.

• Contact the present moment: ground myself my noticing and acknowledging my thoughts and feelings, while noticing what I can touch, taste, smell, hear, and see. (Here’s a guided version of this).
• Use my noticing self: the part of me that notices everything and even notices my noticing. And the similar part of me that can put myself in my shoes on the days when my pain is less. (Here’s a guided version of how to learn to do this).
• Creating distance between myself and my thoughts: This might be noticing and naming the thought. It might be reminding myself that my brain is just trying to help me and saying “thank you mind.” This might be just watching my thoughts come and stay and go in their own time (guided version of this one is here).
• Accepting my experiences: particularly physical and emotional pain that I might be going through. This could be actual sensations or emotions such as sadness or anxiety. For this I often just observe what the sensation/emotion looks like, where it is in my body, and so on. Then I send my breathe into the part of my body I feel it most intensely. Then I make some room for it, noticing that my body is bigger than it. Finally, I just allow it to be there without consuming me. (Guided version here).
• I connect with my values: what qualities of being are important to me? I know that compassion (for myself and others) is a big one that is often helpful in moments of pain, sadness, anxiety, etc. (Here’s an exercise on connecting with your values.)
• Taking an action to live by my values: So if we’re going with my above example/value than it might be doing some self-compassion work. (Here’s a guided practice). It could also be setting goals to make some of those lifestyle changes that might help. It doesn’t matter what the action is as long as it is rooted in your values. (podcast episode on how to do this available here).

Image from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tz4w0xrQfWI

So that’s it. A bunch of different ways to work with your chronicity thoughts so that hopefully you can improve your life and keep making the most of it!

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Response to a Petition Against the NICE guidelines

Okay so I’m going to acknowledge that this blog post might be a little divisive. But if I look around at our society right now, most issues regarding health are. This is probably more of an opinion piece than many of my posts, which I do research (yes, I read scientific journal articles to make sure I get the facts as straight as possible for all of you). I did a post (and a podcast episode) about the guidelines that came from NICE in the UK regarding the treatment of chronic pain awhile back. These guidelines were controversial within the medical community itself because, well, they recommend against the use of pain medications due to a lack of evidence that they are effective AND that many of them can be addictive. Doctors, of course, like to prescribe medications.

Image from: https://www.rcplondon.ac.uk/news/first-evidence-based-nice-guidance-diagnosis-monitoring-and-management-asthma

The recommendations for the treatment were: (1) exercise, (2) acupuncture, (3) cognitive behavioural therapy, (4) acceptance and commitment therapy, and (5) anti-depressants. I recently saw a post on Instagram that linked a petition against these guidelines. The reasoning behind the petition was that it makes it harder for people to get the treatment (i.e., medications) that they need to manage their chronic pain. Much like doctors, most patients also feel like medications are the way to go (which is a fairly western version of pain management – check out the podcast episode with Dr. Richard Harris for an East meets West version of pain management that tends to work better). Now, I’m not saying that pain medication doesn’t work for anyone ever. And I don’t think that’s what they guidelines are saying either. They are saying that the evidence-base isn’t strong for most of those medications, but it is strong for these alternative treatments. The other argument in the petition is that the alternative treatments are expensive and not covered by insurance. I’m going to break each of these arguments down a bit further.

Me during a hike this summer.

So first, whether or not people will still be able to access pain medications. Regardless of these guidelines I find it very hard to believe that most Western doctors will stop prescribing pain medications. Like I mentioned earlier, most doctors were upset by the guidelines in the first place. Also, doctors are trained to prescribe medications, they aren’t trained (literally almost no training) on prescribing alternative treatments. It’s more than likely they’ll go with what they know. They might though be more willing to recommend alternatives as adjunct treatments. This is actually what my rheumatologist did. She recommended that in addition to the medications she prescribed, I seek out alternative treatments such as physiotherapy and naturopathy (and I did and they were helpful). I get why people are upset about the guidelines, especially if they mostly rely on medications. The guidelines do state that for some conditions (mostly CRPS) pain medications do work best (it’s best just to read all the guidelines – AND all the hyperlinks that give fuller explanations yourself – available here).

Image from: https://www.shutterstock.com/search/no+medication

The second point that alternative treatments are expensive, is true and not true at the same time. Exercise is technically free. I exercise at home – both cardio (walking) and strength training (body weight) and have spent $0 on it since the pandemic started (I did go to the gym before that). But a lot of people with chronic pain are hesitant about exercising (check out the podcast episode with Dr. Frank Nahn). Acupuncture can be a bit pricey depending on where you live, but it is sometimes covered by insurance. I had insurance through work that covered my naturopath, who did acupuncture, for up to $500 a year. That’s about 6 sessions. I’m not saying it’s always covered, but it might be. CBT and ACT, the two psychotherapies listed are along the same lines as acupuncture. They might be covered or they might not be. In the province (Canada) that I live, it is covered up to a certain amount by provincial insurance, or short-term therapy is also covered by the provincial government. There are also self-help versions of these available at bookstores and online. Finally, anti-depressants, again may be covered by extended health insurance if you have that. Also, wouldn’t a better petition to be to try and get governments (or insurance companies) to cover these services for chronic pain and chronic illness patients? Just a suggestion…

As a therapist who went into the field to help people with chronic pain and illness (and their co-occurring mental health issues I decided to primarily use ACT with my clients due to its large evidence base).

I guess what I’m saying is that if you dislike the guidelines because you only rely on medication but also haven’t tried or even looked into these alternatives, then it makes sense that you’d be upset. I would be too! I started using some of these alternatives (exercise, acupuncture, CBT/ACT) long before these guidelines came out and I saw how much they improved my well-being, well over and beyond what my medication has ever done. I also find it interesting that I often see posted online people complaining that their medications aren’t really helping. It’s easy to have some cognitive dissonance here. We want to believe medications will solve all our problems even when we’re acknowledging that they’re not. I’m doubtful that I’ll change too many minds with this post, but my hope is that we at least get thinking about using both holistic approaches (like in NICE’s guidelines) and are medication together so that we can get the best results.

Okay, that is all for this week. Keep making the most of it everyone!

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Can Acting “As If” Help Us With Chronic Illness?

No, we’re not talking about Cher from Clueless (did I date myself?). We’re talking about Alfred Adler, who was an early psychoanalyst, and whose work has contributed to the development of current psychotherapeutic techniques, including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. CBT, it turns out, has been incredibly helpful for people living with chronic pain and illness. One of the many techniques Adler developed was acting “as if” which got me wondering, can this help with chronic illness and pain? I’m going to start off by saying, there is not a lot of research in this area, so we don’t really know, but I’m going to do a bit of theorizing today, with the research that I did manage to find on the subject.

Great movie, but not what we’re talking about today.
Image from: https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2015/07/90743/best-clueless-quotes-movie

First, let’s maybe determine what acting “as if” means. This technique has the client make up a new story about themselves, their lives, their ability, or whatever else, for themselves and behave in the way that they would need to in order for this story to be true on a daily basis. (If you’re familiar with CBT you might recognize the cognitive and behavioural components here). Initially it was used for things like giving empathic responses, and being more assertive, or making decisions. The idea is, that by acting differently, and getting different responses from other people in your life because of it, your brain changes so that you can be more like this “new” person. I kind of thinking it as a mindset change.

Alfred Adler
Image from: http://famouspsychologists.net/alfred-adler/

Okay, I have a story before we move on. I was always a very shy person. To the point where I had some social anxiety as a child (literally would never answer questions in class, and was terrified of doing presentations, though I always had friends). That continued right into my twenties. In my twenties (and early thirties) I worked in retail, so naturally some of that social anxiety went away, but to be honest, a good portion stayed. That is, until I was in my early thirties. Then I decided I didn’t want to be so shy anymore. I set myself down a path where I would either be in situations where I couldn’t be as shy, or I would force myself to just talk more in situations I normally wouldn’t. I was essentially acting “as if” I was outgoing. Guess what? At 36, I can say that while I do get some butterflies in new situations, I definitely would not be considered “shy” or “awkward” or “socially anxious” anymore.

Little me.

But can this apply to chronic illness? And if it does, how exactly does that work? When we’re looking at chronic illness treatment, it’s always best to take a holistic, biopsychosocial approach. Typically, you’ll have a doctor (or team of doctors) that focuses on the biological aspects. Having a mental health care professional can assist with the psychosocial parts. There is a known association between self-efficacy, which is our beliefs about our ability to handle life’s challenges, and chronic illness and chronic pain disability. In other words, if we believe we can’t handle our illness or pain, then we won’t be able to and our illness and pain will actually be worse. This is where I think acting “as if” applies to us. We need to shift our mindset and starting acting “as if” we can handle the pain, we can handle the illness and the symptoms that go along with it. We replace self-pity with self-compassion. We are mindful of what we are doing and saying, and we start to take control of treatment (as holistically as possible). By doing so, our self-efficacy grows, and our pain lessens, and our illness has less control over our lives.

I would not be able to do most of what I can without self-efficacy.
2 years after diagnosis. Toronto -> Los Angeles. Solo Trip.

Okay, full stop. I know this might be a lot to take in, and you can’t even necessarily do this work on your own (though depending where you’re at with that self-efficacy thing, maybe you can). This is where having a support team, including a mental health professional might be helpful. At the very least, working on growing that mindfulness muscle and noticing what we’re doing is free to do (here’s the link to my meditation page which can help with that), until you can find (or afford) to have a professional help you. I truly believe in our abilities to live great lives, even with pain and illness. And, so, keep making the most of it.

New season of my podcast, Chronically Living and how to make the most of it, coming June 28, 2021.

Treating Depression

Depression is one of the most common mental health problems (right up there with anxiety). It also commonly co-occurs with chronic illnesses. If you’re feeling depressed, or have been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, it’s really important you are treating it in some form. As a therapist-in-training, I see many clients with depression – some with both depression and anxiety, some with perinatal depression, some with depression and chronic illness – and there are a lot of evidence-based treatments out there. It’s really important to know that you don’t have to suffer alone. So I thought this week, we’d talk about some common treatments, and some up-and-coming ones for depression. I also have an entire podcast episode dedicated to depression and chronic illness this week, which you can access here.

This week’s podcast.

For chronic illness, depression most frequently occurs in people with Alzheimer’s, autoimmune diseases of all sorts, cancer, coronary heart disease, diabetes, epilepsy, HIV/AIDS, hypothyroidism, and Parkinson’s. I got into the criteria for major depressive disorder in the podcast episode, so definitely check that out for more information. When it comes to treating depression, the two most common routes are anti-depressant medications and psychotherapy. Anti-depressants most commonly come in the form of SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) that alter our brain chemistry because it is implicated in depression (our brains are not the only thing that is implicated though). There is a lot of research that supports anti-depressants in treating depression, though research also shows that it works as well as a placebo. In other words, if you believe it will help it will. Now don’t get me wrong, I fully support someone taking medication (unless you’re pregnant or breast-feeding and can’t – thus why I see many perinatal moms in my practice), however what a lot of people find is that just taking medication isn’t enough to see significant improvements in their symptoms, and many people don’t want to rely on medication forever.

Depression affects about 20% of the population in their lifetime.

That’s where option 2 comes in: psychotherapy. As a student, I see about 10 clients a week plus I co-facilitate a group for 2 hours a week. There is a lot of research that supports the use of psychotherapy. My podcast episode on anxiety, which you can access here, breaks down how much your therapist and you each contribute to your outcomes in therapy, which is important to know. As for what type of therapy, there are many to choose from and they all have good outcomes. CBT (cognitive-behavioural therapy) and it’s third-wave counterparts (DBT, ACT, SFT, etc) are the most common. Typically this involves a combination of talk therapy, where you tell your therapist about your thoughts and feelings, and then the therapist giving you some things to try out in session that you can also practice between sessions (some people call it “homework” but I don’t like that term). Another option for therapy is psychodynamic, which involves talk therapy plus the therapist often makes interpretations. And then there are the therapies that rely mostly on talk, utilizing the therapeutic relationship, such as person-centred, existential, etc. All of these can help and are something I highly recommend. There is also evidence that different lengths of therapy are beneficial as well, from one session of drop-in counselling to short-term (10-20 sessions) of CBT or long-term (more than 20 sessions) of person-centred therapy.

Our thoughts and feelings can be like quicksand. Our natural tendency is to struggle, but that only makes us sink deeper in. The actual way to get out of real quick sand: be a still and flat as possible and let yourself float to the surface.

If you are in immediate crisis because of self-harm, abuse, trauma, and suicidal thoughts/plans, then please contact your local help line. I’ve put some numbers in the show notes for my podcast on depression. A quick Google search can help you find them in your country. If you don’t like talking on the phone, there are some organization that offer texting services. I volunteered for Kids Help Phone in Canada which had switched to primarily a texting hotline since many young people prefer to text. You are strong for reaching out because it is not easy to.

Canada.

In terms of other treatments, a few are available for treatment-resistant and severe depression. Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), which used to be called “shock therapy” can be helpful for people with severe depression, though there are some potential harmful side effects, and psychiatrists don’t commonly use this unless necessary. Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) is another option for treatment-resistant depression where magnetic pulses stimulate the nerves in your brain. Newly approved in Canada (and how I got the idea for this post) is the use of Ketamine for treatment-resistant depression. Ketamine is a dissociative drug that has a lot of research supporting its use for depression. It activates your glutamate, dopamine and serotonin receptors in your brain. It takes effect much quicker than anti-depressants and has shown to decrease suicidal ideation. So far research shows no long-term side-effects, though because it is a psychedelic drug, there is the chance of substance dependency.

Great video for anxiety and depression.

Whether or not you have chronic illness, if you have depression there is hope for recovery, and lots of options available. Talk to your GP, your psychiatrist, a psychotherapist or whomever else is or could be part of your mental health care team. That way, you can keep making the most of it.

Daily Mindfulness: Guided Imagery

Guided can be very relaxing and many people find it helps with anxiety. It is also helps for regulating emotions in general. I recommend it for anyone who is also struggling with chronic illness, because of the overlap of anxiety with chronic illness. I want to note that this particular guided imagery is not one I wrote myself. I found it mixed in with some paperwork on a CBT group therapy course as a skill that therapists teach to clients. There are lots of other guided imageries out there and I hope to do more in the future.

Until next week, keep making the most of it!