I was listening to a podcast called Therapy Chat, on an episode about therapist self-care. The guest talked about 2 different types of self-care: macro and micro. While this certainly applies to me and other healthcare professionals, I think it also applies to everyone else, including my fellow Chronic Pain Warriors and Spoonies. Self-care is important and I’ve talked about it on the blog many times before. More recently the self-care posts have been about Activities of Daily Living. This post (and the next one) is going to broaden the definition of self-care beyond our ADLs (though I still firmly believe that ADLs is the best place to start).
What is Macro Self-Care? As an adjective, macro means “large-scale” or “overall.” So we’re looking at big ways to engage in self-care. These ways tend to be more time consuming and more expensive that micro self-care. They are usually things we can only do for ourselves on occasion – a few times a year, maybe once a month depending on your income. Though they tend to be fewer and further between, they have the ability to really help us reset. Sometimes we need to fully disengage from other parts of our life in order to come back to our problems and difficulties feeling refreshed.
Examples of macro self-care include going on a vacation, getting a massage or having a “spa day.” Spending a weekend away with a partner. Taking a class that’s of interest to you (like an art or music class). Going on a retreat. Recently I went on an 11 day trip to Turkey and Egypt with my parents and a good buddy of mine. I hadn’t taken a vacation (other than my brother’s wedding) from work in a year. I also hadn’t travelled outside the country since 2019. It was much needed macro self-care. I also spent a “long weekend” (as in we both took off Friday and Monday) with my partner in a cabin. Another great way for me to get some macro self-care in. I definitely do try to prioritize some of this. Again, sprinkled throughout the year in different forms. It decreases my stress overall and helps me reconnect with the people who are important to me.
Istanbul, Turkey November 4, 2022.
All of these things require planning and some money. This is what makes macro self-care important but unsustainable. Which is why next week I’ll be writing about micro self-care and how we can engage in that throughout our every day lives.
When I was first diagnosed with a chronic illness, my mental health started to suffer. I actually tried to hide that, even from myself, but my anxiety increased over the first 7 or 8 months until I started seeing a therapist (and thus my journey to becoming a therapist began). The thing is, I’m not alone as far as my story with my chronic illness taking a toll on my mental health. Many, many chronic illness warriors have been through the same thing. So, if you’re reading this and you’re struggling, know that it is normal and it is okay to struggle. Also note that change is slow. I can give you these 10 ways to improve you mental health (as I did a few weeks ago with physical health) but you aren’t going to feel better overnight, or after the first time you do these. It takes repeated practice and effort on your part (I still practice all of these!). If you’re ready for that commitment then let’s get into it!
How’s your mental health right now?
Support and Connection – this is pretty much the opposite of isolation, which is common with chronic illness, and mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. Support and connection can come in the form of joining formal support groups (which are likely still mostly online due to the pandemic, but may be in person depending on where you live), or informally by talking with your family and friends, or connecting with others in the Spoonie community via social media. As we’ve seen from the pandemic, isolation is not good for our mental health so do what you can to stay connected. Check out this podcast episode.
2. Mindfulness – I know this comes up a lot but there are many, many studies showing that this has powerful effects on both physical and mental health. It can be formal meditations, but it doesn’t have to be. Mindfulness can be fully engaging in an activity, such as mindful eating or mindful walking. If you’re present you’re unlikely to be ruminating about the past (depression) or worrying about the future (anxiety). Take a listen to this podcast.
Being mindful take practice.
3. Assemble your healthcare team – that includes someone to help you with your mental health. If you can’t afford to see someone in private practice, check out community settings. I’m currently doing my internship in a community setting, where our services are free. There is a bit of a longer wait time, and is usually brief/short-term service, but it is definitely a good option for many people. Check out this podcast on depression and this one on anxiety.
4. Use holistic approaches – what I’m talking about here are approaches that utilize the body-mind connection. If you’re lucky you can find several practitioners that do so. For me, my physiotherapist has a BA in psychology so she always takes a body-mind approach (podcast with her here), and I also saw a naturopath before I moved, which is all about the body-mind connection. They can give you more ideas for how to take care of your mental health and understand it interacts with your illness. This podcast is with my naturopath.
Make sure your healthcare team is able to help you with all aspects of your health.
5. Get moving – movement, of any type, is helpful not just for your physical health but for your mental health to. There have been studies to show that exercise decreases depression. Even if you’re not super mobile, going for a walk, doing some yin yoga, or taking up Tai Chi (podcast here) are good options to increase those endorphins and other neurotransmitters in your brain.
6. Connect with your values – who and what is important to you? If you can figure that out, then try to brainstorm some ways you can continue to live by your values, even with chronic illness. I’ll give you an example from my life. It is important to me to have adventures. Obviously travel is harder with a chronic illness, but it’s not impossible. So my friend and I (pre-pandemic) went on an “adventure vacation” to Costa Rica and for every “adventure day” we did a “rest day.” Honestly, it worked out super well, and we both felt more mentally and physically healthy that trip then we had in a long time. Check out this podcast.
Connecting with my values and doing what matters to me.
7. Do what matters – this ties into this above, connecting with your values. Once you have done the brainstorming, it’s important to do the things that matter to you. So for me, it was travel. It might also be spending more time with family and friends, or being creative. Doing the things (what therapists call behavioural activation) actually decreases depression (lots of evidence here). Check out this podcast for more.
8. Find an outlet – this might tie in to doing what matters for you. My main outlet is writing (probably no surprises here), but I have other ones too, such as playing the piano and colouring. I know a lot of people use art or photography or music or dance. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a creative outlet, but creativity can be useful, because a lot like exercise, it gets those helpful brain chemicals to increase.
Being in nature also matters to me and is an outlet as well.
9. Distance yourself from thoughts, feelings, sensations, etc. that are “hooking” you – what I mean by hooking, is the ones that pull you away from your values, the ones you can’t stop thinking about and make your anxiety/depression/etc worse. If you think of it like fishing, when you cast, and then hook a fish, you immediately start to reel it in, and the fish struggles, flopping around. This is what some thoughts, etc. can to do us – make us struggle and flop around, doing things that are unhelpful. By putting some distance between ourselves and them can help decrease their power (this includes physical sensations of chronic pain).
10. Acceptance – whoa I know this is a big one because no one really wants to accept that they have a chronic illness. And yet this might be the most powerful part of the list for Spoonies. Not just accepting that you have a chronic illness, but allowing your to sit in the physical sensations of pain (without getting “hooked” by them), and allowing yourself to sit in feelings of sadness and anxiousness, etc. These are all adaptive for us. They are part of our evolutionary history. They are here for a reason, and we can learn to allow them to be without it stopping us from doing what matters.
Acceptance can feel peaceful.
I’m sure I’ve given you a lot to think about, so that’s all from me for this week. Keep on making the most of it!
And don’t forget, the self-care challenge starts for premium members on April 24. If you haven’t signed up yet, it’s just $5 CDN for 4 weeks of posts and check-in around self-care!
Chronically Living 