The Importance of Flexibility

I’ve been thinking a lot about cognitive flexibility lately. It’s often a topic that comes up at school, but beyond that, it’s something we need to think about, not only if we have a chronic illness but also during a pandemic, like the one we’re currently in. Some of you may be asking, what do I mean by cognitive flexibility, so here is my short explanation: it is your mental ability to change your thoughts and behaviour as needed to adapt to different environments and situations. An example would be if you were to move to a different country, with a different culture, and how easily you were able to adapt living there. I’m going to break this post into two parts. First, being cognitively flexible as a chronically ill person, and second, being cognitively flexible as any human being living during a pandemic.

How easily do you adapt to changing situations?

Having any chronic illness or dealing with chronic pain for any reason requires us to be cognitively flexible in order to more easily cope. People with poor cognitive flexibility tend to be more prone to mental distress, though of course that is also a more complicated process. In terms of dealing with chronic illness, I think about how I have to adjust to social outings or exercise or work. Recovering from hip surgery, how am I adapting to being on crutches, and not bending past 90 degrees in the hip. It can be difficult to adjust and adapt to these types of situations. This process is going to be different for everyone. Understanding what your limitations are is certainly important, as is the ability to not give up. One thing that’s important for me is being able to exercise because I’ve found it decreases my overall pain levels. But how do I do that now? Chair workouts is what I came up with. Why? Because they are available on YouTube and I can adapt them to what I can do. Another example from my own life is about cleaning. I’m not a neat freak but I do like a clean house. However, I can’t sweep or mop (I have laminate floors) so in my opinion, my place is a disaster. However, I tend to let that go because it isn’t helpful right now, because I literally can’t do clean the way I normally would (plus I live alone right now so there is no one else to do it for me). I have one good friend who always says, “I know you’re a strong and independent woman but you can ask for help.” What he isn’t taking into account is that I do ask for help when I need it (literally different people bring me groceries, take out my garbage and help me with laundry, including him!). When I don’t ask for help, it’s because I don’t need it, but I am flexible enough to ask for help when I do.

My favourite chair workout channel.

Now, during this pandemic I’ve seen a lot of people post on social media about many things, but I’m going to just use one example for this post, and that is gyms being closed (here in Canada at least). The most common argument against closing gyms (even though it is known that the virus is airborne and we all breathe hard at the gym) is that working out is good for your mental health. 100% it is! As a therapist-in-training I will not argue that fact. What I will say, is how flexible are we being with our workouts? I was someone who worked out at the gym between 3-5 times a week before the pandemic. The first thing I did when the gyms closed was figure out how to utilize the limited space I have in my place to do workouts at home. With zero equipment. Apps, YouTube, online gym programs (my gym literally offered free access to all kinds of stuff to members even though we weren’t paying fees anymore). Yes, it is not the same as going to the gym. It doesn’t offer a social environment, maybe not the same type of workout, but I actually got in better shape working out from home because I didn’t have to go anywhere, just change my clothes. I think it’s important that we look at what we are upset about during this time and figure out ways to do actively make the most out of the situation we are in. I’m not saying it’s easy, nor that there is a solution for every person or situation. For some situations we just need to adapt our mindsets to our current reality.

Image from: https://wiki.its.sfu.ca/permanent/learning/index.php/Cognitive_Flexibility

I hope this give you some food for thought. For now, keep making the most of it!

All the Cozy Things for Fall & Winter

This is a self-care type of post I supposed but in the past week of not being able to do much, I’ve been thinking about how, even during a pandemic, there are amazing, cozy, self-care activities… well, activities in general… we can do inside and at-home during the winter. I live in Canada, so winters are already long, and yesterday I watched a news report where experts said the “darkest” months for Covid will be January-March so I guess we should be prepared for the continuation of strict measures.

Image from: http://www.ottawafamilyliving.com/cozy-home-cozy-life-preparations-winter/

Let’s start off with some of my favourite things to wear. Pyjamas – because as spoonies we can’t have enough of these – and especially cozy ones like fleece or flannel. Who doesn’t want to lounge around in PJs all day, especially when it’s cold and gloomy outside. Sweaters are another one. Big, comfy, cozy sweaters. And for the holiday season, Ugly Christmas Sweaters (I have three Star Wars ones… I don’t think they’re ugly though!). Sweaters can also just make you feel warm and relaxed – at least I think so! Finally, slipping on some of those fuzzy socks, or a nice pair of slippers (my feet always get cold first… also I can’t get on socks at the moment because of my surgery, so I’m looking forward to 5 weeks from now when I can properly dress myself again).

New fall/winter sweater I ordered online.

Part 2: Delicious Drinks. Hot chocolate, coffee, and tea. All of these just feel warm and wintery. I maybe have hot chocolate once a year because it’s way too sweet. What I do like are some of Starbucks’ holiday drinks like the peppermint mocha (half sweet though) because it gives that combo of hot chocolate and coffee (best of both worlds)! Though if you have any local coffee places that make something similar, I definitely encourage you to support them instead! Or if you don’t want to go out, there are tons of recipes online to make them at home! Teas are all great. Usually in the winter I end up preferring black tea over coffee at some point and switch over in the mornings. I also love herbal teas. Peppermint tea is another great wintery classic.

Image (and recipe) from: https://bakingmischief.com/peppermint-mocha/

Finally, being creative. Baking, doing crafts, decorating your house, playing music, reading, and even some throw backs like playing board and card games (instead of video games) and doing puzzles can be great ways to get through the extra in door time. Varying up the routine to prevent boredom is essential (my parents used to tell us that “if you’re bored, you must be boring.”). These things all have a cozy, wintery feel to them (yes they can all be done throughout the year) and maybe that’s just some nostalgia from memories of growing up in a snow-infested, bitter-cold province.

Image (and recipes) from: https://www.chatelaine.com/food/kitchen-tips/baking-perfect-christmas-cookies/

I think my point here, is that we can help our health and our mental health by thinking outside of the box and making ourselves feel good with the little things. Because sometimes little things can have big impacts. Keep making the most of it, folks!

Disappointment, a necessary part of life

Let me start off by saying that I’m doing a series of posts this month for a link-up. My understanding was to pick 3 prompts and do a post on each. I just found out this morning from the link-up coordinator that you are supposed to do three prompts in one post. If I had known that, I probably wouldn’t have done it. To me, that makes the blog more like a journal. While, I definitely share my personal experiences in my posts, I always set out to make this more of a self-help journey we can all be on together, with hopes that people can take something away to apply to their own lives. I also prefer to do a “theme” of the week (as you’ve probably noticed) rather than a hodge-podge of random information. Since I technically broke the rules of the link-up, I won’t be allowed to participate in any future ones, which is honestly fine with me as I never need writing prompts… I just thought it would be fun to connect with other bloggers.

I know you’re getting a photo of him every week but I miss him.

Anyway, on the topic of disappointment, I know that 2020 has been a s*** show for most people, and we’ve probably all seen our fair share of disappointment this year. The last few months have definitely been that way for me – first my dog being put down, and now, well, current circumstances, which have left me feeling depressed, which is not normal for me (thankfully I have a therapy appointment today). I’m going to share my current disappointment with you in a moment, I am also going to (try to) set myself up (and you too) on the right path to move beyond disappointment, because it is a necessary part of life.

Image from: https://www.walkinmyshoes.ie/library/podcasts/2015/august/coping-with-disappointment-and-failure

As you may know, I am doing my Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology (future therapist here!). What you may not know is that I am excelling in the program (literally have never had a 4.0 GPA and mine is actually higher than that – yes, I’m bragging a bit but I usually eat a lot of humble pie). What you also may not now is that Covid has f***ed practicum opportunities in Canada. We have to acquire our own practicums, and the university told us if we live in a major centre to contact at least 30 sites. I reached out to 63 in the city I currently live. Of these, only three confirmed they are taking students this year (1 I didn’t qualify for based on experience, 1 I interviewed for and didn’t get, and 2 I applied to but didn’t get an interview); 16 places never responded at all, and the rest said they weren’t taking students because of the pandemic. As a result, I also applied/contacted to 5 sites in a neighbouring city (all of which decided not to take any students); 5 in my hometown (2 never responded, 3 said they aren’t taking students); 1 in a city my older brother lives in (had an interview, didn’t get it), and 15 in a city my younger brother lives in (applied to 3, didn’t hear from 3, and the rest said they aren’t taking students).

My school I.D. photo lol

Okay, so that’s the backstory. The thing is, one of the places in the city my younger brother lives in actually accepted me as a student at the end of September. So, though I still had to do an application process through my uni, I did get some initial excitement going about living near family again and moving to the mountains! I have been in contact with my site supervisor, and have almost all my forms ready to go for school – the package is due Nov 1. Then yesterday, I hear from the university (who had initially sent off my application as the site is with a health authority) that the site has decided they took on too many students and cancelled my placement. While they didn’t say why mine was the one that was cancelled, it can be assumed it is because I currently live in a different province, as the health authority itself stated it prioritizes in province students. Here’s the thing, the site supervisor said he was still willing to supervise, and the whole thing is of no cost (at least monetary) to the site. It’s hard not to feel like I’m being penalized for the pandemic/living in the wrong province apparently. I know a lot of other students have had to defer their practicum until May but I’m already 35 and just want to get my career started. Thus disappointment. By the way, the health authority did tell the university they could submit my application to some of their other sites in the same region, so they did yesterday, but it sure puts a time crunch on the whole thing for me if there is a yes out there (fingers crossed).

Where I was supposed to move to… and hopefully still will.

So how do we work through disappointment? First and foremost I think it’s necessary to live in the emotions we feel. For me that started as stress and anxiety and has lead to deep sadness. I can only really move on if I fully feel these emotions, and so I will. Second, it is important to talk and process with someone. Like I mentioned, I will be having a session with my own therapist today (and yes, therapists do often have therapists) to do just that. If you don’t have one (you should!) then with a family member, friend, or partner also suffices. What I like about an impartial person to do this with is that they can get you to do more exploration and problem solving than someone who is just going to reiterate your own feelings and concerns back to you, or blame someone/something else for your disappointment (not saying the disappointment is your fault). Third, is to be proactive with what you can do. Apparently my decision could not be appealed by my site supervisor or the school, so I found a contact form and sent it off to the site explaining the situation and asking for a decision-maker to contact me. I also had the university send off my application to the other sites. I will continue to work on my school work (paper due this week) and try to keep myself busy and distracted while I wait to hear. Finally, I look at the worst case scenario. For me that is differing my practicum and doing in it May. Is that ideal or what I want? Nope. But will I survive? Yes. As I said, disappointment is a part of life, but it is the choices that we make when disappointment arrives that determine what our futures will be like.

I must live by my mantra now more than ever.

Thanks for reading, and keep making the most of it!

Taking a Break with Family

As I titled this I realized some people might automatically read “from” family which is 100% not what I’m going for. Rather, taking a break from all of the other things in life to spend time WITH family, is something some of us probably need right now (some of you may have just spent the past 6 months locked up with your family and may need the opposite type of break)! I needed the break for a couple of reasons: (1) I live far from the rest of my family, (2) because of the pandemic this is the longest I’ve gone without seeing them, (3) work has been hella stressful (also due to the pandemic), and (4) while your support system can include many other people, mine also includes my family.

Me and the bros in Kalamalka Park, BC. Epic hike!

And so, I risked it and went on a plane, taking me from Ontario to BC. (To be honest the airlines are doing a decent job at making travel as safe as possible and all passengers seem to consider safety important). Both of my brothers live in BC with their partners, and it was my younger brother whom I stayed with. The trip itself was a mix of physical activity (hiking, kayaking, yoga – all my faves) and chill time (eating and drinking at wineries and pubs, and watching movies).

Yoga day at a winery overlooking Lake Okanagan.

There are two parts of my trip that I valued the most. One was hanging out with my younger brother, both the first day I got in when we just toured around town and caught up on what’s been going on with one another, and then when we binge watched three movies back-to-back on Sunday night because we both love movies. The other was when my older brother and his wife joined the other three of us on a hike, winery tastings, and dinner, allowing us all to spend some time together. Interestingly it is my older brother I’ve seen the most of during the past few years as his work often brings him to Toronto to visit. Because of Covid-19, his company has restricted travel until the new year.

How we do a winery!

Having a mental break and spending it with people I love was so important. I maybe pushed a bit too hard on some of the hikes but it made me rethink where I want to be in the near future, and to be honest, I never consider change a bad thing. We’ll see where the future takes each of us.

If I can also get some thoughts, prayers, whatever you personally do for Spike I would really appreciate it. He is at the vet, having been extremely sick over the past 18 hours.

When Spike was feeling much better on his 11th birthday a few weeks ago.

Summertime Self-Care

Every time I say the word summertime I start singing: “Summertime and the livin’ is easy.” I think it’s from playing it in high school jazz band many moons ago, and actually when I pulled my sax out in the spring it was an easy song to get back into and play. Yes, here in Canada we are already half way through summer because let’s face it, summer is June, July, August, and if we’re lucky, September. That doesn’t mean we should talk about some summer-related self-care we are all hopefully engaging in, and if not, then it’s not too late to start!

Hot town, summer in the city.

Obviously this year is a bit different due to the pandemic which is spiking and second waving in certain parts of the world, while other parts (ahem USA) haven’t finished their first wave yet. But there are still some activities I’ve found to do this summer that have been great for my body, mind, and spirit – three important aspects of self-care. Personally, I think spending as much time as possible outside is really important for my mental health. If you live anywhere that gets a long, cold winter (Canada, northern US, Russia, Scandinavia, etc) then you understand how much needed the summer sun is. Whether it’s sitting in your back (or front) yard, on your porch, your balcony (apartment dwellers), a bench in a park, or wherever, getting outside for at least an hour a day can make you feel a lot better. And many other favourite self-care activities can be done outside – meditation, yoga, reading, etc.

Backyard chillaxin’ with Spike!

If you’re looking for something a little more physical, I’ve talked about hiking and kayaking, but really any outdoor sport you’re capable of doing is great, even just going for a walk. If it’s safe to do so, having dinner or a drink with a friend on a patio (social distanced of course) can be a good way to get some social self-care in, which many of us weren’t able to do (other than Zoom) during self-isolation. So if you’re in a place that is a little more open and not currently spiking, and you’re safe to do so, getting out with a friend or two might be a good idea.

I always aim to get a little movement in!

Whatever you decide to do for summertime self-care, just make sure you’re staying safe, wearing a mask, and continuing to social distance until the medical professionals tell us it’s safe to do otherwise. Yes, this year is different, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t still be taking care of ourselves.

How to Wear a Mask: A Short PSA

There are so many immune-compromised people out there, and many of you watching this may fall into this category. While I take anti-malarials and not immunosuppressants, so I’m not at greater risk for Covid-19, I think we need to keep passing these messages around. Many (mostly older) people don’t seem to understand how to wear a face mask properly. I don’t think this is necessarily intentional, and I think we really need to pass this information around. We’re not out of this pandemic yet and it could be awhile before a vaccine is on the market. Stay Safe Warriors!

From Virtual Dating to Real Dating? Pandemics, Reopening, and Chronic Illness

As we move into reopening phases in many places, some of us might be looking to take all of our virtual experiences and start going back to the “old ways.” Whether that be just seeing our friends in person (crazy thought after so many months, I know!) or going on actual dates, the thought that we don’t have to solely rely on online contact is amazing. Yet, for those of us with chronic illness, slow and steady might be the best course of action.

I miss getting coffees liket

I’m not saying you can’t or shouldn’t start doing “real life” things again. I have started to see some friends in person, and I’ve been back to work where I deal with the public consistently (some lady refused to sanitize her hands but then proceeded to put on a face mask which made me laugh at the lack of logic but okay). What I am more cautious about is heading on dates. For one, assuming any date goes well, there is potential for kissing at the very least (if not more) and exchanging saliva with a stranger when there is still a pandemic going on is probably not the best idea. As cases do become lower and lower that may change, but for now I’d still rather play it safe than risk getting an illness that could be made worse by my underlying illness.

Me at work… keeping others safe from me, and hoping they’ll keep me safe from them.

There is also the strong possibility of a second wave to come yet. If we look back historically to the flu of 1918, the second wave was much worse than the first. And though, yes this is a coronavirus, not a flu, a second wave could be terrible. While I am happy to be a risk taker in many areas of my life (adventure travel, moving provinces or countries at the drop of a hat, changing careers, starting blogs and podcasts, etc) I am not one to compromise my health more than it already is. Does that mean I won’t go on any dates until we have a vaccine? Unlikely, but it does mean I’ll be a little more selective of who I date (as if I’m not selective already lol) and how quickly things move.

Remember when we could share drinks with our friends without a worry?!

What are my other chronic illness warriors thinking about dating right now? Leave a comment, I’d love to hear from you.

Staying Safe During Reopening

I know that with reopening having begun in many places, it’s easy to get the feeling that the pandemic is over and things are getting back to normal. I think what we need to keep in mind is that the pandemic is not over, and may not be over until a vaccine is available, as that is what the researchers are saying at this point. So, as Spoonies and Warriors, we need to make sure we are taking extra good care of ourselves during this time. As I mentioned with my post last week, we may be more susceptible to contracting Covid-19 (and even death) due to our illnesses and medications we normally take.

Image from: https://www.chatham-kent.ca/EconomicDevelopment/covid-19-business-resources/re-opening-and-safety

I was called back into work this week after being on furlough for 2 1/2 months. As far as the staying safe part of back to work goes, there were things I was and wasn’t impressed with. I was impressed that most customers came in with a mask on (and some with gloves so they didn’t have to touch the pinpads with their hands), and that the company provided all workers masks and a few plexi glass screens to keep distance between us and customers upon check out. What I wasn’t impressed with is the ratio in which customers are allowed in the story – it was too busy for the amount of staff, and I was never without a lineup at the front (I was the only person scheduled for returns/exchanges AND transactions for the day). As a result (and probably because I haven’t spent that long standing in awhile) I noticed increased hip pain and decreased mobility in my left hip today.

Look it’s me! Back at work!

Beyond any expectations of the work you are doing if you are called back, there are a few other things to keep in mind. We need to continue with safety protocols such as frequent and proper hand washing (and sanitizing between when you can’t wash as often), social distancing, and personally, I think still trying to remain at home as often as possible. Take care of yourself, because ultimately your health is most important. And until there is a vaccine on the market and Covid-19 isn’t something we reasonably have to worry about anymore, we need to make sure we are staying safe.

Follow the link for the CDC’s hand washing guidelines: https://www.cdc.gov/handwashing/when-how-handwashing.html

 

One final thought of the week, as I reflect on what’s happening both in my own city and to my American neighbours south of me:

Hydroxychloroquine & Covid-19 Deaths…What Does it Mean for Us?

As many of you probably recall, hydroxychloroquine and chloroquine, both of which are antimalarials and often used in the treatment of lupus/SLE were being tested a few months ago as a potential treatment for Covid-19. US President Trump of course quickly jumped on this bandwagon proclaiming that it was a “game-changer.” This was said, of course, as testing was being started, not because of results of testing that had finished. As a result, I remember seeing many Spoonies, particularly those with lupus panicking because they couldn’t get their medications as quickly. And to be honest, I quickly went and refilled my own prescription. Though I’m only borderline for lupus, my rheumatologist kept me on the drug as it seems to have helped my symptoms over the past few years.

Now, results of the first study have been reported in the medical journal The Lancet. And those results aren’t exactly great… Of those patients who received hydroxychloroquine or chloroquine as a treatment, many of them ended up with heart problems and died as a result. So my question is, what does that mean for those of us who are regularly prescribed these meds? As North America starts to open up again (too soon here in Ontario given our daily cases, and WAAAAY too soon in the States given that they haven’t come close to flattening the curve, does that put myself and everyone else at a higher risk of death if we do get Covid-19?

Good thing I stocked up… bad thing it could be dangerous.

Unfortunately from what I read in news articles, I couldn’t find an answer. And no, I haven’t read the study itself in The Lancet (I can only read so many journal articles in a week and I have to read a lot of them for school), so I don’t have an answer. It does make me weary though. I didn’t want to get Covid-19 in the first place, but now I’m feeling more apprehensive about it. I’m very curious how my other Spoonies/Warriors are feeling about all of this and what precautions everyone is taking. Last week I was told to expect to be back at work in the next 2-3 weeks, and I work with the public. And while my company is providing masks to employees, we already know that is just to protect others, and masks don’t actually protect us, which means I have to trust the public to come in with masks as well (based on what I’ve seen, I don’t trust most people). At the same time, as a furloughed employee, I have to return to work when called in. Quite the predicament.

Image from: https://www.lehighvalleylive.com/acts/2020/05/read-my-lips-coworkers-create-clear-masks-for-hearing-impaired-manager-of-lehigh-valley-best-buy.html

Here is the link to a news article from the Washington Post about it:

Washington Post: Hydroxychloroquine Study

I’m hoping more information comes in about hydroxychloroquine and Covid-19, and what the hell that means for us. I’d love to hear your comments and thoughts on all of this, so please leave a comment, send an email (janeversuspain@gmail.com) or DM me on instagram (@janeversuspain). Stay safe.